A mother claims that new parents are creating "high maintenance babies" by spending money on baby toys and exclusively breastfeeding — and argues that "anyone can have a low maintenance baby" if they "stop feeling guilty as a mother."
A self-proclaimed "chill mom," 27-year-old Aubrey Matthesius thinks that young children become high-maintenance—requiring a lot of attention—because parents create overly complex routines, strict schedules, and are excessively worried about their kids.
She claims that it's achievable for anyone to have a "low maintenance" baby – by avoiding excessive spending on baby toys, not constantly holding the child to avoid unhealthy attachment problems, and making nighttime routines simpler.
Aubrey advises parents to adopt the traditional method of raising their children, as practiced by previous generations – by avoiding co-sleeping and 'mom guilt'.
A single mother, Aubrey, started sleep training her son Joel when he was four months old, aiming to help him fall asleep on his own and claims it's "not a bad approach."
She mentions that her young son is "very relaxed" since she stopped using bottle warmers and wipe warmers, reduced her "mom guilt," avoided making things too complicated, and made her daily routine simpler.
Aubrey, a content creator and homemaker, from Phoenix, Arizona, United States, stated: “I've observed numerous mothers using attachment-style parenting on TikTok for many years.”
They appear very worried and tired, and every situation seems significant.
I was looking at this and thinking 'I'm not sure if I want to have children if this is the price.'
I was discussing with the older women in my life how they cared for their infants.
They claimed we didn't overcomplicate things; we simply approached it the traditional method.
I believed 'that's what I desire to become'.
I referred to myself as the low-maintenance mom because that's the way it should be if you're aiming for a relaxed approach to motherhood.
It doesn't need to be a matter of life or death, extremely stressful, or too much to handle.
You don't need to be bound by the role of motherhood.
Following the birth of her son Joel in December 2023, Aubrey applied all the knowledge she had gained from the older women around her – such as her mother-in-law, Leanne, who is 50 years old, and other women from her church.
Starting to sleep train her son at four months, Aubrey began "simplifying" her daily routine to reduce stress.
"Many of the philosophies involve doing tasks the night before, such as cleaning the playroom when the baby goes to sleep," she said.
Load the vehicle the evening prior.
There are numerous things that need to be done in order to go out of the house with a baby.
High maintenance means starting the day feeling anxious.
I awaken and I'm prepared to head out.
Maintaining a low effort level doesn't imply compromising on quality.
I make the nighttime routine simpler and don't always follow the same steps.
Have a child and take things as they come – they'll adapt.
Overbearing mothers are dominant, and the infants grow very dependent on their mother.
It's impossible for someone else to look after the baby if they are exclusively breastfeeding.
If you bring the bottle, another person can feed the baby, allowing you to leave the house.
Things that bother fussy infants.
Sharing her top advice for mothers online, Aubrey strongly recommends against sharing a bed with their babies.
She remarked, "Please don't interfere with it."
Once they enter your bed, they won't leave.
You also don't need all the items that the baby industry is pushing at you, such as a bottle warmer or a wipe warmer.
Release the guilt associated with being a mother.
Maternal guilt may dominate you and prevent you from thinking clearly.
Sleep training isn't inherently negative; it has acquired a poor reputation over time, and research has emerged indicating it doesn't cause harm.
“I can prove it.
My child is enjoying life and loves me.
Ultimately, pay attention to the elderly women in your life.
They accomplished it the traditional method, they have expertise in the subject.
After browsing social media after her birth, Aubrey was surprised by other mothers' schedules.
She mentioned: "I would see these girls with bedtime routines that lasted two hours, and I thought 'I can't handle that.'"
The older women in my life told me, 'sweetheart, stop with all the social media and listen to me – put them in the bathtub and get them to bed.'
There's a lot of motherhood guilt on social media that affects many women, making them feel like bad mothers if they don't co-sleep or keep their baby in their room for several months.
It's essentially a culture centered around breastmilk and sourdough.
Simply do what is best for your child.
Aubrey also acknowledges her husband, Ashley, who is 28 and serves as a pastor, for supporting her in leaving Joel for the initial time.
"Since I had a supportive partner, he helped me move past the guilt associated with being a mother," she stated.
After giving birth, I was a wreck and didn't want to leave my baby.
He hired a babysitter without my knowledge and said, 'you're going on a date with me tonight and you'll leave the baby behind.'
When we adopted a low-effort way of living, we flourished.
Aubrey has encountered a variety of reactions to her approach to parenting on the internet.
She mentioned, "It's amusing, the girls who are Gen Z and my age are really enthusiastic about this."
I'd say millennials respond with 'what's wrong with you?' and 'you're the worst,' 'you're a terrible mom, you should co-sleep with your baby.'
The girls who are inspired by this and understand they can be a low-effort mother if they choose, is what I care about the most.
I've received countless messages from girls who said, 'I was pregnant and felt I couldn't handle it, I was so afraid, thank you for showing me a different path.'
TOP TIPS FROM AUBREY ON NURSING LOW-MAINTENANCE INFANTS:
No co-sleeping
Don't purchase every item available in the baby product market
Release yourself from mother's guilt
Begin training your baby to sleep
Pay attention to the guidance of elderly women in your life
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